Author: maymargaret

Uncategorized

There’s Always Someone Who’s Interested in What You Have to Say

maymargaret

I never thought I’d be a blogger. I thought that, though I had a lot of thoughts I wanted to express, not many people would be prepared to read them. The number of rants I go on in daily life to a ever shrinking audience (due to lockdown entirely) had made me aware that I need another outlet. But would my thoughts and feelings have a platform I could express them? Yes, of course they did.

The thing is, the world is filled with so many different ideas and opinions. And I think sometimes we think we’re alone in a thought. I like the write based on what I’d like to read, whether it be lists on ideas to fill boredom, or a bit of a rant airing my frustrations. And the last year has been rife with its frustrqtions. Sometimes we just want to know that someone else feels the same. And if they don’t, so what? You feel the way that you feel, and in relation to so many things, we have no reason why we should think or feel any differently.

Having a blog has made me see this. It’s primary reason was to get some of those thoughts out there, and see where it took me. I had no illusions or motive besides that, and I think that’s enough. We live in a world where so many people think they can’t say what they want to say, because everyone has an opinion, and there will always be someone who has a different opinion to you. That isn’t the problem. It’s the way they present that opinion. So if you want to express your fondness for making strange noises in the comfort of your own house to the chagrin of your significant other, express it. There’s probably someone out there who shares your fondness. I like to make up songs about avocados first thing in the morning.

I think the Internet needs to be filled with these different opinions, whether they be world altering or just little strange ones that may or may not have any takers. You may think the opposite, but some people need to realise that people are different, and the world does not need to be shaped to their specific viewpoint. If they’re offended by something, that is their perspective. Opinions do mean something, but they don’t mean everything. A variety of opinions means that opinions regain their definition, and their appeal.

It’s also given me a space to think aloud, and make room for new thoughts. The same old thoughts can get stagnant fast, so it’s nice to have a dumping ground. Having this dumping ground has been a godsend over these last few months.

Since starting this new hobby, I’ve also developed a couple of others, including writing, poetry, cooking and photography. All a working progress, but everything should be. Hobbies are important, take that from a serial hobbyest.

In short, whether it’s for talking to other people you’ve never met, or for talking to yourself and discovering things that others may or may not want to know about you, blogging has been a valuable experience that has given more than it has taken away. Room to think, room to grow, room to allow previous misconceptions to transform. Like a diary, but one where I’ve given the key to who ever wants to read it. That’s a very cheesy sentence I know, but the more we know about each other, the less we feel alone. That’s essential.

nature, Uncategorized

100 Days of Nature – Day 73 – Raindrops

maymargaret
nature

100 Days of Nature – Day 71 – Looking Up

maymargaret
Opinion and Advice

Why Couples Should Probably Rent First – Testing the Waters.

maymargaret

Before I decided to move out (during the pandemic rather than after it had settled down) the idea of renting was somewhat drilled into me as an undesirable waste of money. Renting meant giving money on a monthly basis to help someone else get wealthier, while my living space would never be mine in the way that I would want it. It would always be someone else’s to call the shots with. Instead, mortgages and actually buying straight of the bat was the way to go. My own space to do what I wanted with. That was the way to go, the right way.

But is it? Or is it perhaps that renting is a wise way of testing the waters?

During the pandemic, there’s probably been a big shift in living arrangements for many of us. Those of us in relationships who still live at home might have moved in with their significant other’s family, or they might have come to you. This might have been the situation already while, as a couple, you’ve been saving to buy your first home. I know a couple in this situation, who are buying with a help to buy mainly because they can’t stand living with the others’ family. During lock down, relationships have come under strain, and arguments start over the most pathetic things. Who broke what and who used someone else’s something or other. The people in our household are literally the only people we can be in close quarters with, and that might be seen as a great opportunity for relationship building. For the short term, at least. For a year? Maybe any way of escape might do.

But then I know other couples. One couple who brought a house together fresh from years living in one of their family homes. A family home that just happens to be streaming with young kids. Getting their own space was the only solution, and, again, buying was the only acceptable option. A couple of years later (one pandemic later) and something unexpected happens.

They realise they don’t like each other.

Why did it take a pandemic to realise this? Well, this couple just happens to be a very sociable couple, who spend Friday and Saturday nights out with friends and the rest of the week at work, thinking about the future nights out with friends. In comes Corona virus, and suddenly this couple have been forced to spend time together, with no one else. Horror of horrors, it has resulted in rows, one vandalised car and one of which begging to move back in to his busy childhood home.

Now, maybe this is an extreme case; we all get sick of each other and everyone from time to time, but the issue here is that it began before the pandemic. Only,  distractions were available. We could meet a friend, go for a drink, go on holiday. Have a holiday or a night out to look forward to. Now, they’re stuck together in a house they have brought, asking for more than people can afford because now, they want separate living arrangements, and they want to make a profit. Not the easiest of situations to get out of in the best of times.

On the flip side, my fiance and I knew that we didn’t have much experience living with each other, so I suggested renting a place for a year, maybe two. My family didn’t like the idea, but I’m proud to say that, according to them, I changed their minds. Of course, having this comparison couple might have helped me look like the less naive one, but I think it’s a valuable piece of advice for other couples. Living with family may have its perks, but it also has its downsides for couples. Nonetheless, this doesn’t give you the knowledge you need to know whether you’re compatible cohabitation wise. As a couple, it may be you against the in laws. A couple against the rest of the house. Dreaming of having your own space might give you rose tinted specs when looking at the other person. Buying your first home is encouraged as a right of passage, while renting is discouraged as a quick fix. Maybe it is, but it’s also valuable in learning about each other.

When we moved in together, I honestly didn’t know how it would go down. I knew he was messy while I was a neat freak, and that he had a proclivity to get bored on his own. Now, I’m glad to say that now I know that he has moments of tidiness while a sock on the floor doesn’t bother me as much as it used to. Plus, as only children, we both like our own space, and knowing that the other person is just in the next room is comfort enough. Renting has been the best choice we could make for ourselves, but it could have gone the other way.