I think that it’s better to do the right thing for the wrong reason than to do nothing at all. To be selfless, truly selfless, in my opinion, doesn’t really exist. As humans, we tend to do things if they serve us. Even charity is often preached with an incentive. A cuddly toy to sponsor a snow leopard, a medal in exchange for a sponsored run (not to mention the photo opportunity). But does that make it bad? Is the benefit of our own self esteem so selfish? Positive reinforcement does encourage behaviour after all (it’s what it’s there for) so why wouldn’t you want to feel good after doing something nice for someone else? Altruism makes the world go round.
But, there are so many things stopping us from being kind sometimes, that have nothing to do with guilt. Maybe we’re afraid of looking foolish incase our help is rejected, or maybe we might come off as patronising. No one wants to look naive or vulnerable either, and I’ve also heard say in one of my rare deliberate attempts of being nice that it comes off as childish.
So, while the world has been put on hold while we battle a pandemic, there has been so many stories of heroes raising funds for so many different causes, while so many of us are wondering what we can do. The truth is, often it’s the small acts that contribute just as much, or more, perhaps, than one central one.
1. Food donations – in every supermarket I go to there are bins for food collections in aid of homeless or struggling families, and sometimes animals, too. Ask around for spare tins of food, or just toss a few in your shopping with the intention of donating them.
2. Reviews – yes, reviews can make or break a business. Rant time, but I have one person in mind, who felt it pertinent to expose a small frozen yoghurt business for triggering displays. The thing is, one nice review for a small business can make one person’s day, and encourage custom. If you’re tempted to write a bad one, consider why you felt your service was bad. Was the server short with you? Maybe they had a bad day. Was the food late? We are in the time of covid, where restrictions and limitations mean that resources may be spread thin. If you really need to, contact the business and give them pointers. Otherwise; you know, maybe the people of that small Californian froyo business have reasons for wanting to encourage healthy options? The world isn’t built for you, Demi. Attacking a business and sharing screenshots shows one intention; to ruin them. But why?
3. Offer to help a colleague – if you think someone might need help, offer to help, whether it’s workload or just a task they need covering while out of be office for an appointment. They may brush it off and say they’re fine, but it’s nice to have the option.
4. Say hi to a friend – we’ve all been feeling isolated recently, and maybe the days have become so same old that we don’t realise how long it’s been since we spoke to someone. Saying hi let’s someone know that you’re thinking of them, and that you’d like to talk to them. As someone who has known the loneliness of not having friends, I know that this is such a powerful thing to receive.
5. Just being pleasant – never underestimate the value of manners and a nice smile; it might renew someone’s faith in the human race. You never know who is having a rough day, and just being entitled isn’t worth it. Smile and wave, boys. If a cashier person asks you how you are, ask them back. While it might not be etiquette, it might also offer a nice break to thoughtless customers who just ignore the person because, well, it’s their job.
6. Recognising if someone wants to talk – apparently I have a kind face. Which means I smile a lot, and I don’t look like I’m just wishing the person to shut up. And when I’ve been told I’m easy to talk to, it feels nice. And yes, maybe someone might get that vibe from you as a stranger at a train station, but as long as there are people around, what is the harm? I remember when, in broad daylight by the way, someone just started talking to me at the train station, and it was probably a little bit of a shock for him that I allowed him. He told me about the recent death of his parents and how he and his sister have taken on their business. He may have been bullshitting, but maybe, just maybe, he needed to offload. For every asshole, there’s 10 genuine people who just want to rant to a stranger.
Remember, though; you can say that you’re there for someone whenever they want you to be. But that doesn’t mean you always can be available. Maybe you need help, because, well, everyone needs help sometimes. Saying you don’t doesn’t change that. But, if someone offers you help, what’s the harm in taking it? If a colleague offers to help you, they probably feel good in themselves already. Don’t be put off by thinking you’re inconveniencing someone else. To every piece of help there’s someone who wanted to help, and wants to continue helping. Helping makes us feel good, and we spend so much time feeling bad about ourselves and the world around us, but what does that achieve?
Paint a Mental Picture 