Tag: coronavirus

lists, Opinion and Advice, Uncategorized

Back to Life, Back to Reality – Learning to Appreciate

maymargaret

How many generations can say they have had their lives put on pause, just to be started up again more than a year later? Not in our life time has something happened on this scale, and it will feel strange as restrictions ease, and we can think about getting back to normal life. But what is normal life? For me, its going to an office to work, to a library or a cafe to study and watch the world pass by, to go on a holiday at least once a year. Simple pleasures, but as we inch closer to those things becoming more than a distant dream, we might find how much we appreciate them. Even if we appreciate them for only a moment, a fraction of a minute, it’s enough to feel it. It’s enough to make me see, anyway, that average life is something to yearn towards, with all its nooks and crannies, and that those little things really do matter.

So what have you missed?

Here’s my list, just because I’ve missed it all so much that I want to talk about it.

1. Eating at a restaurant – the first time I went to a restaurant after the last lockdown lifted, it was a new place in my local town centre called the Flying Elephant, and really, they could have served slop and I would have been thrilled to just be out seeing people. Alas, it was gorgeous and tasted all that much better because it was, at that moment, an out of the ordinary experience.

2. Travelling without feeling guilty – as I don’t drive, I rely on the public transport available such as trains. To keep myself mentally healthy, I based my office at my parent’s place, and my efforts paid off. I kept myself isolated, did my testing. But each time I travelled I still felt like a criminal.

3. Gyms – I love the gym, and yes, I know you can work out at home and go for a run anywhere, but there’s the atmosphere, the camaraderie, at a gym. Everyone there for the same goal, and I think that if you see other people working out, it encourages you to work harder. Plus hygiene is finally being kept up by everyone wiping down equipment, which is what they should be doing anyway.

4. Saunas – Ah, the reason for this post. I love saunas, steamrooms and hot tubs, and for the first time in over a year I used one, and it was wonderful, and I slept like a baby.

5. Travelling within the UK – once a month my fiance and I will typically do a weekend stay in the country. These places have included Stratford Upon Avon, Cambridge, Lincoln and Chester, but this has been on hold (obviously). But we’re planning a trip to Bath in a couple of weeks. It’s something to look forward to, to plan, as a little break from the norm.

The ordinary stuff, up until recently, went relatively unnoticed and unappreciated. I took for granted the liberty of going to a gym, out for a meal, hugs… with certain people, anyway. I know it won’t stick; not for me, not for everyone. But to understand how wonderful our normal routine truly is, even for a moment, is enough.

nature, photography

100 Days of Nature – The Beauty of Nature

maymargaret

Okay, so I’ve not exactly ended this thing on a local note. I’m in Llandudno, Wales at the moment, but I’m still close to home, still having a so called ‘Staycation’.

It’s worrying how so many of us are determined to ignore nature, or not go that extra mile if we are able to. Of course, hikes aren’t everyone’s thing. But to actively question why do it is another matter.

It’s that attitude that leads to us losing it a little more each day.

Uncategorized

There’s Always Someone Who’s Interested in What You Have to Say

maymargaret

I never thought I’d be a blogger. I thought that, though I had a lot of thoughts I wanted to express, not many people would be prepared to read them. The number of rants I go on in daily life to a ever shrinking audience (due to lockdown entirely) had made me aware that I need another outlet. But would my thoughts and feelings have a platform I could express them? Yes, of course they did.

The thing is, the world is filled with so many different ideas and opinions. And I think sometimes we think we’re alone in a thought. I like the write based on what I’d like to read, whether it be lists on ideas to fill boredom, or a bit of a rant airing my frustrations. And the last year has been rife with its frustrqtions. Sometimes we just want to know that someone else feels the same. And if they don’t, so what? You feel the way that you feel, and in relation to so many things, we have no reason why we should think or feel any differently.

Having a blog has made me see this. It’s primary reason was to get some of those thoughts out there, and see where it took me. I had no illusions or motive besides that, and I think that’s enough. We live in a world where so many people think they can’t say what they want to say, because everyone has an opinion, and there will always be someone who has a different opinion to you. That isn’t the problem. It’s the way they present that opinion. So if you want to express your fondness for making strange noises in the comfort of your own house to the chagrin of your significant other, express it. There’s probably someone out there who shares your fondness. I like to make up songs about avocados first thing in the morning.

I think the Internet needs to be filled with these different opinions, whether they be world altering or just little strange ones that may or may not have any takers. You may think the opposite, but some people need to realise that people are different, and the world does not need to be shaped to their specific viewpoint. If they’re offended by something, that is their perspective. Opinions do mean something, but they don’t mean everything. A variety of opinions means that opinions regain their definition, and their appeal.

It’s also given me a space to think aloud, and make room for new thoughts. The same old thoughts can get stagnant fast, so it’s nice to have a dumping ground. Having this dumping ground has been a godsend over these last few months.

Since starting this new hobby, I’ve also developed a couple of others, including writing, poetry, cooking and photography. All a working progress, but everything should be. Hobbies are important, take that from a serial hobbyest.

In short, whether it’s for talking to other people you’ve never met, or for talking to yourself and discovering things that others may or may not want to know about you, blogging has been a valuable experience that has given more than it has taken away. Room to think, room to grow, room to allow previous misconceptions to transform. Like a diary, but one where I’ve given the key to who ever wants to read it. That’s a very cheesy sentence I know, but the more we know about each other, the less we feel alone. That’s essential.

Opinion and Advice

Why Couples Should Probably Rent First – Testing the Waters.

maymargaret

Before I decided to move out (during the pandemic rather than after it had settled down) the idea of renting was somewhat drilled into me as an undesirable waste of money. Renting meant giving money on a monthly basis to help someone else get wealthier, while my living space would never be mine in the way that I would want it. It would always be someone else’s to call the shots with. Instead, mortgages and actually buying straight of the bat was the way to go. My own space to do what I wanted with. That was the way to go, the right way.

But is it? Or is it perhaps that renting is a wise way of testing the waters?

During the pandemic, there’s probably been a big shift in living arrangements for many of us. Those of us in relationships who still live at home might have moved in with their significant other’s family, or they might have come to you. This might have been the situation already while, as a couple, you’ve been saving to buy your first home. I know a couple in this situation, who are buying with a help to buy mainly because they can’t stand living with the others’ family. During lock down, relationships have come under strain, and arguments start over the most pathetic things. Who broke what and who used someone else’s something or other. The people in our household are literally the only people we can be in close quarters with, and that might be seen as a great opportunity for relationship building. For the short term, at least. For a year? Maybe any way of escape might do.

But then I know other couples. One couple who brought a house together fresh from years living in one of their family homes. A family home that just happens to be streaming with young kids. Getting their own space was the only solution, and, again, buying was the only acceptable option. A couple of years later (one pandemic later) and something unexpected happens.

They realise they don’t like each other.

Why did it take a pandemic to realise this? Well, this couple just happens to be a very sociable couple, who spend Friday and Saturday nights out with friends and the rest of the week at work, thinking about the future nights out with friends. In comes Corona virus, and suddenly this couple have been forced to spend time together, with no one else. Horror of horrors, it has resulted in rows, one vandalised car and one of which begging to move back in to his busy childhood home.

Now, maybe this is an extreme case; we all get sick of each other and everyone from time to time, but the issue here is that it began before the pandemic. Only,  distractions were available. We could meet a friend, go for a drink, go on holiday. Have a holiday or a night out to look forward to. Now, they’re stuck together in a house they have brought, asking for more than people can afford because now, they want separate living arrangements, and they want to make a profit. Not the easiest of situations to get out of in the best of times.

On the flip side, my fiance and I knew that we didn’t have much experience living with each other, so I suggested renting a place for a year, maybe two. My family didn’t like the idea, but I’m proud to say that, according to them, I changed their minds. Of course, having this comparison couple might have helped me look like the less naive one, but I think it’s a valuable piece of advice for other couples. Living with family may have its perks, but it also has its downsides for couples. Nonetheless, this doesn’t give you the knowledge you need to know whether you’re compatible cohabitation wise. As a couple, it may be you against the in laws. A couple against the rest of the house. Dreaming of having your own space might give you rose tinted specs when looking at the other person. Buying your first home is encouraged as a right of passage, while renting is discouraged as a quick fix. Maybe it is, but it’s also valuable in learning about each other.

When we moved in together, I honestly didn’t know how it would go down. I knew he was messy while I was a neat freak, and that he had a proclivity to get bored on his own. Now, I’m glad to say that now I know that he has moments of tidiness while a sock on the floor doesn’t bother me as much as it used to. Plus, as only children, we both like our own space, and knowing that the other person is just in the next room is comfort enough. Renting has been the best choice we could make for ourselves, but it could have gone the other way.

nature

100 Days of Nature – Day 52 – Looking at Now

maymargaret

In the meantime, all we can do (all we are allowed to do) is take in what is around us immediately. We often spend so much time thinking of somewhere else, that we miss what’s in front and around now. There’s still so much you or I haven’t seen yet of our immediate surroundings and what they have to offer.

nature

100 Days of Nature – Day 51 – Looking Ahead

maymargaret

Soon, we’ll be able to explore further afield again. I hope to appreciate more what lies elsewhere, to take in the moment while I’m there.

The Dolomites, Italy

lists, Uncategorized

Are To Do Lists the Death of Productivity?

maymargaret

If you have read any of my earlier blogs, you would know that I love a good list. Or, at least, loved. They’re organised, neat, and just creating one can give you a sense of productivity and control. A list represents order, allotted time for certain tasks.

But there’s another side to them, too. Lists can show you how much you have to get done, how much you think you have to do, just to complete the list. If you’re the way I was, an incomplete list is like having an altogether unproductive day. For me, having just one item left, forgotten about or pushed back until the end of the day, was both frustrating and daunting. If i’m honest, it was usually my 10 minute session on Duolingo, learning some French I probably wouldn’t remember afterwards. If I did it, it was the bare minimum, but it counted, didn’t it?

Not necessarily.

I can’t remember the last list I made. I haven’t abandoned them altogether mind, and that’s not what I’m suggesting. But really, what does a to do list contribute towards getting all that necessary, and unnecessary, stuff done? Because I’ve found that not tying myself to a task not only makes me more productive, but it also leaves me much more free time.

So this year I made a dreaded, apparently doomed to fail new years resolution. Doomed to fail because, beyond the first couple of weeks of January, aren’t resolutions doomed to fail by simple self fulfilling prophesy? I think people make them sometimes just to fail them, and then they can laugh about it later about how naive they were, how hopeful they began the shit storm of a year behind them (for some people, no matter what happened in that year, it’s inevitably going to be branded a shit storm.). There’s almost a culture being created around choosing drinking wine in place of a workout and moaning about the shape of the globe on Facebook. But anyway, I digress. Where was I?

Oh yeah, lists.

So I made a resolution to start learning guitar. Properly, this time. A few of my friends have done it, I started back when I was 14. Despite owning three guitars, one of which I made myself, I never could remember a single chord. I tried to stick to this resolution last year, too, but alas, apparently a pandemic gives you copious amounts of time, but its not always paired with motivation. Usually, I would look at the item on my list marked ‘guitar practice’ and pass it off as unimportant. I’ll do more tomorrow.

Now that I don’t make lists, I not only get to practising every day, but I remember more too. And this hasn’t just been the case for guitar. I decided to start learning Spanish on Duo, and I’m on my 31 day streak. I draw more, I read more, I’m more organised in my yoga and running (every Monday, Wednesday and Friday) and still manage to keep the apartment tidy, my bearded dragon alive and set aside more hours than I’m happy to admit on the internet to binge watching Supernatural. I’m not humble bragging (okay maybe just a bit, but now that I meditate I think the smug bug has got me just a tinsy bit) but I think this just shows how unessential lists are. A list can organise your time, but they can also create chores out of things you ought to enjoy. Hobbies are there for exactly that. Enjoyment. And as for cleaning, am I wrong for enjoying this too? It’s a part of life, we might as well make the best of it.

My point is, there comes a point where you’re doing things not because you want to, but because you feel like to have to. It’s exhausting, and its not as productive as you think. If you want to do it, do it. But you don’t have to. And don’t be scared to have a nothing day. Brains get tired, you know.

nature

100 Days of Nature – Day 20 – Pink Pink Pink

maymargaret

One needs a splash of glorious pink every now and again, found while walking back from a mandatory stint in the office.

lists

My Pandemic Resolutions

maymargaret

I started last year with so many plans. I guess different goals to what I actually ended up doing, but still, last year could have gone a very different way. Concerts, festivals, travelling… basically everything I resolved to do, or usually do anyway, was cancelled. As a frequenter of Download Festival and person who loves to travel, last year sucked a bit on that part. My second missed opportunity to see Iron Maiden, and now I wonder whether its meant to be.

And while so many expect (an expectation fueled by wishful thinking, perhaps) to be in the midst of a moshpit during the summer months of 2021, I kind of trust that they’ll be disappointed. While so many concerts are covid safe, a festival in which communal toilets and general suspension of usual hygiene standards are perhaps a staple of the weekend experience, the pressure to lock onto the virus will inevitably lead to further cancellations. So, what to do?

I dont want to end this year disappointed, as so many have. And, usually, I dont make what might be traditionally termed as resolutions. But I do like goals. I see both sides of the coin. I like doing things there and then, but I also like putting a time stamp on achievements. I like to look back on the year and think of what I did with my 365 days, and last year was no different. There was a tremendous amount I couldn’t do, but in a way, maybe thats why I did the stuff I actually did. So this year, I want to make a point of setting goals I know will be achievable, even during these enduringly uncertain times.

1. Read more – I read a ton, but it could always be a bit more varied. I’ve recently gotten into dystopia fiction, so maybe a wider scope is on the horizon yet.

2. Learn to play guitar – this has been a goal of mine since 14, but there’s always something else to do. But I want to get out of this year with at least one song learned that isn’t Metallica related.

3. Watch more films – I love my movies. Often movie lovers (from my personal experience) have been judged as couch potatoes. But I’m the best at movie quizzes, if I do say so myself.

4. Run 15km – last year I reached 10, and kind of just stuck to 5 after that.

5. Finally achieve side splits – yoga has been a bit intermittent this year. But now I have the space to do it, so no excuses

6. The three peaks challenge – this was last year’s goal, and the one that didn’t come to fruition. Scafell, Snowdon and Ben Nevis. I’ve done the later two at very different times, so I’d like to make all three.

7. Try self publishing – gotta start somewhere right?

8. Paint more for pleasure – last year I took on a lot of commissions. So many that, while I enjoyed painting members of peoples family, it took the creativity out of me a bit.

9. More photography – I got into taking photos last year, specifically of simple pleasures. Flowers, the sky, the butterfly heading this post. I’d love to have canvases of them.

Were going into this year with a bit of an advantage, if that’s the right word. We know to treat it with caution. We know not to make plans, or at least, we know what plans not to make. This year could still pan out in so many ways, good or bad, but that doesn’t mean it doesn’t count, right?

Uncategorized

2020 in Review

maymargaret

If there’s one phrase I keep hearing, its “I can’t wait for 2020 to be over” and the like. And yes, I get that. Its been a turbulent year. But the reality is that the pandemic will not be limited to 2020. In fact, the pandemic for many parts of the world began before 2020. Today, I wondered whether I’d still be judging people for not wearing a mask or standing 2 meters apart in a year’s time. It feels like second nature now, to distance and mask up each time I’m in a shop, and sneer at those for not doing so. Its been a unique year, to say the least.

But does that mean its write off? For many who have lost loved ones, who have been isolated, or who have faced this pandemic from the front line, perhaps that is the case. 2020 for many has, in short, been an absolute shit storm. Redundancies, job losses, cut backs, companies closing because they cannot fund running in the midst of a virus that results in reduced custom. But for the rest of us, 2020 has meant more time with family, working in the comfort of our jammies, and having just that little bit more time to take stock of our mental and physical health. Rather than declare 2020 as just a year that shouldn’t count, I’m taking it from my privileged position as a period in history in which I was there. Taking the good with the bad.

So what has 2020 been to me? And yes, I’m focusing on the positives. There’s too much negativity in the world to begin with.

2020 has meant branching out. More and different books, trying a few different crafts, watching a few different films. TV shows I’ve never thought about watching before. Having that time has meant not being too tired after a day’s work to do anything more than flopping on the sofa to watch the same old same old.

2020 has meant more time for education. I started and finished (and passed) my first module for my masters degree. Due to working from home, my lunch breaks and down time were filled with essays and reading as opposed to mindless scrolling through my phone.

2020 has meant fitness goals. Back in March I ran my first 10km, as I was meant to be doing a charity 10k elsewhere. Instead, I did it on my own, on a treadmill, in my living room, with a virtual tour of Vienna on the go on my TV. I’ve also been working more on my yoga, and I’m sure I’ve progressed (somehow).

2020 has meant more painting. Art has been in my life since my first bronchiosaurus drawing at the age of 5. But this year I’ve done many more commisions than usual, and its given me the chance to develop. I’ve painted birds and babies for the first time. Turns out I’m not too shabby if I do say so myself.

2020 has meant new experiences. I’ve never worked from home before, and I do quite like it. I passed my 1 year anniversary at my job on the 18th. Its also given me the drive to take my first long weekend trip on my own, which was not only greatly needed, but a big kick in my confidence of my own independence too.

2020 has meant moving out – last week, I moved in to an apartment with my fiance. A couple of arguments with the company selling us our table later (a further couple about the broadband) and I think we’re actually formulating a home.

2020 has, in short, meant progress. I’m a true believer in baby steps, that progress counts everywhere, and can happen anywhere. If you’re reading this, you have survived this pandemic so far. Maybe you’ve partaken in the plays streamed on YouTube, taken up a long distance course to pass the time. Maybe you’ve used your time to learn a few guitar chords. Whatever this year has been, its been an experience. Whether good or bad, we’re still here.

Merry Chrimbo and a Happy New Year

Xx