Now, as someone who doesn’t have kids but has been a kid, I know children can be dumb. But that’s the point, right? Their brains are still learning, still shaping. Language is still fairly uncertain until around puberty, but before then and even after, their brains are messes of information that is new and exciting, and may not be understood appropriately for years to come. Basically, kids are goopy messes of random and instinct, but they can also be the most wise creatures we can ever meet. They see the world in a brighter, easier light than us adults. And who’s to say that’s a bad thing?
Everyone wants to parent a prodigy, a genius, the next best thing since sliced bread. The number of posts on Facebook of mothers and fathers humble bragging about a long word their child said minutes before goes to show that they simply want to show that their genes must be good, because they made this happen. But what about parents who openly say that their child isn’t bright? What about any adult in a child’s life who says that this child doesn’t have the capacity to achieve academically?
As someone who has had this happen to them, it’s not pleasant. When I was nine, my teacher, Mr Sellers, told my parents during a parents evening that I would not get all my GCSEs, I would not get my A Levels, and a university degree was way out of the question. My parent’s, who had historically heard nothing but good things from my teachers before and after this, hit the roof for this pessimistic and, frankly, dis-empowering prediction for my academic future. I was present at the time, and believe me, a nine year old can and will feel the insult. It was a huge knock to my confidence. We’re taught to trust the adults in our lives, right? We, as children, are taught, or were taught, that the adults are always right.
I’m seeing a similar attitude from a lot of parents recently, in response to their children’s exam results. From the ones who’s children performed well? Nada. From the family members who’s children or grandchildren performed poorly? Common phrases include, “Oh she’s not very bright, like me!” or, “Oh he did okay, he’s not the smartest kid in his class,” with a scrunched up nose that called for sympathy towards her clearly disadvantaged grandson. A friend of mine has a daughter who did well considering her life was undergoing a lot of turbulent changes, but he still followed it up with, “Imagine what you could have achieved if you had buckled down?”
I know, as a very average student at school, that exam scores reflect very little about a child’s ability. I passed every exam and got all my GCSEs, but with mostly Bs and Cs. I felt bad about it, but so many failed in essential exams such as Maths and English while getting As in Textiles and Languages. The fact is, until children are given that control over what they’re learning, many of them won’t shine until after school, maybe even after college. Every child has a passion, something that they would be readily prepared to commit time and energy to. For some it’s Art, or maybe Psychology or Human Biology. Many students can’t stand Math, and will probably do poorly in it, but if a kid loves to read and write stories, the likelihood of performing better in English or English Language/Literature is increased.
Remember all the anecdotal tales of geniuses next time you’re questioning your child’s intellect. Many of the most famously great minds performed badly at school, and one could argue that exams are not a reliable measure of intelligence at all. In fact, most of them rely simply on information retention and recall. They depend on how you are on the day. One might even call them unfairly emphasised as important pieces of the puzzle that builds up a person’s future. As I said, I was an average student, and now I’m doing a masters degree.
Give the kids a chance.
Paint a Mental Picture 