Tag: lockdown

Opinion and Advice, Uncategorized

There Was Such Thing as Normal, and We Will Find it Again

maymargaret

Sometimes, I write a post for me. Actually, no. All the time, I write a post for me. A bit like a diary entry that I know people will be able to read. My thought is, what kind of thing would I like to read at a specific moment? What would help me right now? So I write something that would have done me good to read.

It’s normal to be apprehensive right now. A few months ago, we were in pubs and shopping aggressively to make up for the weeks or months spent in lockdown. By the New Year, it felt like we were back to square one. No restaurants to eat at, no Primark to shop in for clothes that we wouldn’t be able to wear until the next gathering. Just same old boring waiting at home, watching our lives pass by while key workers did their bit and saved the world.

And now here we are, going out again and trying to find where our normal is. I’ll be honest, it still feels far away. I go to the gym, and the odd meal out, but the arrow system and the increased number of anti bac dispensers are a constant visual reminder that we still have a ways to go. And it might be tempting to follow what an increasing number of people are doing; trying to rush into it. Since the vaccine has rolled out in it’s droves, it’s clear to see that some people think that we are well and truly out of the woods. But it’s thinking like that that kept us in lockdown in the first place.

So how can we still find our normal in these circumstances? And, importantly, how can we embrace the inevitable change a pandemic will bring?

1. Expect it to take time; it’s not going to happen instantly. There are enough sayings, proverbs and fables to remind us that things take time if they’re worth having at all. It might be a huge shift to go from staying in at night to choosing to go to a restaurant, or even from getting your shopping delivered to your home to going to your local shop to pick up the coffee. Baby steps might be your best option here.

2. Set your boundaries – your friends might be eager to rush out into the world and hug you the first chance they get. But this doesn’t mean you’re ready for such close contact. I’ll be honest, the social distancing thing, besides in terms of my family, has suited me down to the ground. I love having an excuse to not get close to people besides my own discomfort of closeness and touchy feely ickiness. I have a friend who is, contrastingly, very fond of hugging, and insists on hugs every time we meet. I don’t see the point in this; I didn’t miss her, I don’t need comfort, and I am generally not overly comfortable with it. When you go out there again, and see the people you haven’t seen for so long, set your limits to what you’re comfortable with; we’ve all lived this pandemic, and they ought to understand.

3. Not all changes will be bad – man, I miss buffets. I miss stuffing my face until I feel ill, but I also can’t ignore how it is rather a gross concept, potentially eating food that others have touched and, in any case, has been exposed to the air, containing pathogens catapulted into it via coughs, sneezes, laughter etc. I think the buffet is too ingrained into society to be phased out, but there are still changes I hope to see stay for the long term. I like anti bac being readily available, particularly going into shops where other people have touched the items I’m also going to touch. I like ordering on the phone app at Pizza Hut and not having to wait a very long time for the bill when all I want to do is go home and slip into a carb coma. I like everyone wiping down the gym equipment, even though they’re usually supposed to anyway but how many people really stick to it? I like arrows, I like order, basically. Even masks I’ve become quite fond of, particularly now that I can talk to myself without anyone seeing, or sing, or mutter insults to rude people. Sure, many of the rules and restrictions will lift, and they will be phased out, very many of them leaving with minimal sadness from any of us.

4. Decide what your normal you want, and chase it – not everyone entered this pandemic as someone who loved the nightlife, hugging, eating out most nights and travelled. To many, the pandemic brought very few restrictions, because that was how our lives were anyway. For me, I’m a mix. I love going out, and I love travelling and concerts, but I also enjoy staying in and enjoying my own company. Don’t feel like to have to do things simply because you can do them again. I can’t stand nightclubs. I’ve been to two in my life, and that’s enough for me.

5. Don’t let fear stop you – I know someone who’s been isolated since before Christmas, because she’s too scared to go out. For her, embracing normal is likely to be delayed and very difficult. Do things, and do them sooner rather than later. If you’re scared to go to a shop, go to a shop. You’ve survived a pandemic, you know what to do. Likewise, if you want to go to the gym, or swimming, do them. They’re safe and controlled at the moment, and as long as you do your part, you’ll be perfectly fine.

lists, Opinion and Advice, Uncategorized

Back to Life, Back to Reality – Learning to Appreciate

maymargaret

How many generations can say they have had their lives put on pause, just to be started up again more than a year later? Not in our life time has something happened on this scale, and it will feel strange as restrictions ease, and we can think about getting back to normal life. But what is normal life? For me, its going to an office to work, to a library or a cafe to study and watch the world pass by, to go on a holiday at least once a year. Simple pleasures, but as we inch closer to those things becoming more than a distant dream, we might find how much we appreciate them. Even if we appreciate them for only a moment, a fraction of a minute, it’s enough to feel it. It’s enough to make me see, anyway, that average life is something to yearn towards, with all its nooks and crannies, and that those little things really do matter.

So what have you missed?

Here’s my list, just because I’ve missed it all so much that I want to talk about it.

1. Eating at a restaurant – the first time I went to a restaurant after the last lockdown lifted, it was a new place in my local town centre called the Flying Elephant, and really, they could have served slop and I would have been thrilled to just be out seeing people. Alas, it was gorgeous and tasted all that much better because it was, at that moment, an out of the ordinary experience.

2. Travelling without feeling guilty – as I don’t drive, I rely on the public transport available such as trains. To keep myself mentally healthy, I based my office at my parent’s place, and my efforts paid off. I kept myself isolated, did my testing. But each time I travelled I still felt like a criminal.

3. Gyms – I love the gym, and yes, I know you can work out at home and go for a run anywhere, but there’s the atmosphere, the camaraderie, at a gym. Everyone there for the same goal, and I think that if you see other people working out, it encourages you to work harder. Plus hygiene is finally being kept up by everyone wiping down equipment, which is what they should be doing anyway.

4. Saunas – Ah, the reason for this post. I love saunas, steamrooms and hot tubs, and for the first time in over a year I used one, and it was wonderful, and I slept like a baby.

5. Travelling within the UK – once a month my fiance and I will typically do a weekend stay in the country. These places have included Stratford Upon Avon, Cambridge, Lincoln and Chester, but this has been on hold (obviously). But we’re planning a trip to Bath in a couple of weeks. It’s something to look forward to, to plan, as a little break from the norm.

The ordinary stuff, up until recently, went relatively unnoticed and unappreciated. I took for granted the liberty of going to a gym, out for a meal, hugs… with certain people, anyway. I know it won’t stick; not for me, not for everyone. But to understand how wonderful our normal routine truly is, even for a moment, is enough.

nature, photography

100 Days of Nature – The Beauty of Nature

maymargaret

Okay, so I’ve not exactly ended this thing on a local note. I’m in Llandudno, Wales at the moment, but I’m still close to home, still having a so called ‘Staycation’.

It’s worrying how so many of us are determined to ignore nature, or not go that extra mile if we are able to. Of course, hikes aren’t everyone’s thing. But to actively question why do it is another matter.

It’s that attitude that leads to us losing it a little more each day.

nature, photography

100 Days of Nature – Day 83 – The Little Features

maymargaret

Look closer at the little things you come across and usually pass every day without a second thought, they may be more beautiful than you think.

nature, photography

100 Days of Nature – Day 83 – The Little Features

maymargaret

Look closer at the little things you come across and usually pass every day without a second thought, they may be more beautiful than you think.

Uncategorized

There’s Always Someone Who’s Interested in What You Have to Say

maymargaret

I never thought I’d be a blogger. I thought that, though I had a lot of thoughts I wanted to express, not many people would be prepared to read them. The number of rants I go on in daily life to a ever shrinking audience (due to lockdown entirely) had made me aware that I need another outlet. But would my thoughts and feelings have a platform I could express them? Yes, of course they did.

The thing is, the world is filled with so many different ideas and opinions. And I think sometimes we think we’re alone in a thought. I like the write based on what I’d like to read, whether it be lists on ideas to fill boredom, or a bit of a rant airing my frustrations. And the last year has been rife with its frustrqtions. Sometimes we just want to know that someone else feels the same. And if they don’t, so what? You feel the way that you feel, and in relation to so many things, we have no reason why we should think or feel any differently.

Having a blog has made me see this. It’s primary reason was to get some of those thoughts out there, and see where it took me. I had no illusions or motive besides that, and I think that’s enough. We live in a world where so many people think they can’t say what they want to say, because everyone has an opinion, and there will always be someone who has a different opinion to you. That isn’t the problem. It’s the way they present that opinion. So if you want to express your fondness for making strange noises in the comfort of your own house to the chagrin of your significant other, express it. There’s probably someone out there who shares your fondness. I like to make up songs about avocados first thing in the morning.

I think the Internet needs to be filled with these different opinions, whether they be world altering or just little strange ones that may or may not have any takers. You may think the opposite, but some people need to realise that people are different, and the world does not need to be shaped to their specific viewpoint. If they’re offended by something, that is their perspective. Opinions do mean something, but they don’t mean everything. A variety of opinions means that opinions regain their definition, and their appeal.

It’s also given me a space to think aloud, and make room for new thoughts. The same old thoughts can get stagnant fast, so it’s nice to have a dumping ground. Having this dumping ground has been a godsend over these last few months.

Since starting this new hobby, I’ve also developed a couple of others, including writing, poetry, cooking and photography. All a working progress, but everything should be. Hobbies are important, take that from a serial hobbyest.

In short, whether it’s for talking to other people you’ve never met, or for talking to yourself and discovering things that others may or may not want to know about you, blogging has been a valuable experience that has given more than it has taken away. Room to think, room to grow, room to allow previous misconceptions to transform. Like a diary, but one where I’ve given the key to who ever wants to read it. That’s a very cheesy sentence I know, but the more we know about each other, the less we feel alone. That’s essential.

Opinion and Advice

Why Couples Should Probably Rent First – Testing the Waters.

maymargaret

Before I decided to move out (during the pandemic rather than after it had settled down) the idea of renting was somewhat drilled into me as an undesirable waste of money. Renting meant giving money on a monthly basis to help someone else get wealthier, while my living space would never be mine in the way that I would want it. It would always be someone else’s to call the shots with. Instead, mortgages and actually buying straight of the bat was the way to go. My own space to do what I wanted with. That was the way to go, the right way.

But is it? Or is it perhaps that renting is a wise way of testing the waters?

During the pandemic, there’s probably been a big shift in living arrangements for many of us. Those of us in relationships who still live at home might have moved in with their significant other’s family, or they might have come to you. This might have been the situation already while, as a couple, you’ve been saving to buy your first home. I know a couple in this situation, who are buying with a help to buy mainly because they can’t stand living with the others’ family. During lock down, relationships have come under strain, and arguments start over the most pathetic things. Who broke what and who used someone else’s something or other. The people in our household are literally the only people we can be in close quarters with, and that might be seen as a great opportunity for relationship building. For the short term, at least. For a year? Maybe any way of escape might do.

But then I know other couples. One couple who brought a house together fresh from years living in one of their family homes. A family home that just happens to be streaming with young kids. Getting their own space was the only solution, and, again, buying was the only acceptable option. A couple of years later (one pandemic later) and something unexpected happens.

They realise they don’t like each other.

Why did it take a pandemic to realise this? Well, this couple just happens to be a very sociable couple, who spend Friday and Saturday nights out with friends and the rest of the week at work, thinking about the future nights out with friends. In comes Corona virus, and suddenly this couple have been forced to spend time together, with no one else. Horror of horrors, it has resulted in rows, one vandalised car and one of which begging to move back in to his busy childhood home.

Now, maybe this is an extreme case; we all get sick of each other and everyone from time to time, but the issue here is that it began before the pandemic. Only,  distractions were available. We could meet a friend, go for a drink, go on holiday. Have a holiday or a night out to look forward to. Now, they’re stuck together in a house they have brought, asking for more than people can afford because now, they want separate living arrangements, and they want to make a profit. Not the easiest of situations to get out of in the best of times.

On the flip side, my fiance and I knew that we didn’t have much experience living with each other, so I suggested renting a place for a year, maybe two. My family didn’t like the idea, but I’m proud to say that, according to them, I changed their minds. Of course, having this comparison couple might have helped me look like the less naive one, but I think it’s a valuable piece of advice for other couples. Living with family may have its perks, but it also has its downsides for couples. Nonetheless, this doesn’t give you the knowledge you need to know whether you’re compatible cohabitation wise. As a couple, it may be you against the in laws. A couple against the rest of the house. Dreaming of having your own space might give you rose tinted specs when looking at the other person. Buying your first home is encouraged as a right of passage, while renting is discouraged as a quick fix. Maybe it is, but it’s also valuable in learning about each other.

When we moved in together, I honestly didn’t know how it would go down. I knew he was messy while I was a neat freak, and that he had a proclivity to get bored on his own. Now, I’m glad to say that now I know that he has moments of tidiness while a sock on the floor doesn’t bother me as much as it used to. Plus, as only children, we both like our own space, and knowing that the other person is just in the next room is comfort enough. Renting has been the best choice we could make for ourselves, but it could have gone the other way.

Uncategorized

100 Days of Nature – Day 65 – Painted Sunsets

maymargaret
artwork, Uncategorized

Things I Want to Say to Artists on Social Media

maymargaret

Social media can be great, but it can also be toxic. Pointing out the obvious, I know. But I have a specific reason for that. As an artist, I know how easy it is to get sucked into the world of follow for follow and what not. This is my second post on this topic, because really it just makes me sad to see people burn themselves out chasing likes, follows and fame.

The truth is, there’s a sad reality around being an artist on social media. And it’s this; for every artist who gets recognition, there’s hundreds who give up on their craft, or their aspirations to be a good or great artist, because they think no one is paying attention to their work. They think, “if no one likes my work, this means I’m no good,” or the like. This is not the case. I’m going to be blunt here, I’ve seen many great, skilled artists with very few followers on Instagram, while those with limited skill have thousands. I myself have under 300, and this used to bother me.

And then, the other day, I saw on Facebook someone griping about not being able to get above 750 followers, because people followed and unfollowed days later, and so posted her link on a few art pages for people to follow. This was responded to with the dreaded ‘follow for follow’ requests.

Now, I think what her problem was was that each person who unfollowed was formally expecting a follow in return, and so stubbornly clicked that button in protest. So many artists want something in return for their simple click of a button, and that is how it has become such a powerful action, the difference, for some, between having a day confident of one’s skill, or thinking you’re a failure because not enough people liked your latest post.

But I’ve being thinking about this during this pandemic. Afterall, if anything it has been a time for reflection, where social media has become such a prized tool for networking, what with an opportunity for small businesses to potentially thrive in the face of mass store closures. Drawing may be your income, but for those of us who just like to create, where do you draw the line?

This is how I see it;

1. Being an artist is often about reciprocation ; you’ll get a follow or a like because people like your work. Sometimes, however, it’s because they want your likes and follows in return.

2. If you draw for likes, you’re not creating for good reasons ; drawing is such a sharable, useful skill. But what is the point in doing something that ought to be relaxing, inspiring or just something that is meant to bring you joy, if you’re going to get stressed and miserable over it instead?

3. Stick to what you’re good at ; some people can pluck an idea out of their head, and put it to paper. Others can replicate a face directly with pencils. But if you have a niche, no matter how obscure it is, that will bring you much more happiness than attempting a shareable fan art piece of the latest movie character you probably don’t care about.

4. Think about turning art into your income; really think about it. Drawing day in and night out might sound like a tremendous gift, but do you really want to turn something you love into a chore? I remember when I was fourteen, having started my GCSEs at school, and I chose media instead of art. I was told this was stupid numerous times because, for me, they thought art would be an easy win. Even one of my teachers told me I wasted a GCSE. But I also love film, and thats why I chose media studies. It wasn’t wasting a qualification in anyway, and if anything, I feel I love my skill more because I have a choice in it. But customers, in short, can be crabby. Most are delightful, don’t get me wrong, but you also get the ones who don’t understand that a drawing is an interpretation, not a print out. Drawing is a honed skill with a person’s hand doing it, not a soulless computer. It takes time, resources and confidence to put yourself out there, and confidence can shatter just like that.

I’m not trying to put anyone off. In fact, I’m trying to be that pragmatic person who wants artists to keep loving what they do. If you don’t get so many likes as you thought you would, that’s okay. Van Gogh was questioned, doubted and insulted for his percieved lack of skill, and today is arguably the most celebrated artist of his generation. There’s so many of us now, and so much talent out there. Talent shouldn’t be wasted on shallow things such as likes.

nature

100 Days of Nature – Day 52 – Looking at Now

maymargaret

In the meantime, all we can do (all we are allowed to do) is take in what is around us immediately. We often spend so much time thinking of somewhere else, that we miss what’s in front and around now. There’s still so much you or I haven’t seen yet of our immediate surroundings and what they have to offer.