sexual harassment – Paint a Mental Picture

I love these pointless little controversies. They always seem to gain momentum during these times of distress, and maybe its because this is a rare time in the present generation’s history when we all have had nowhere to go unless we break a law.

So while this controversy of the non-consented kiss in Snow White and the Severn Dwarves isn’t exactly a new one, the wokeists (I have learned that there is a difference between the ‘left’ and wokeists, like there’s a difference between the ‘right’ and discrimination) have now got the platform with which to insult genuine arguments surrounding feminism and the question of consent. The key insult? That these issues have been whittled down to an charming and essentially innocuous Disney movie that has been around since 1937.

And I know, yes, Prince Charming does essentially kiss a corpse. But wasn’t the antidote to the poison true love’s kiss? Yes, it may have been a touch presumptuous on the part of the Prince, but it worked, didn’t it? Unless you believe the theory that it didn’t, of course, and the Prince collected Snow White to take her to heaven.

The thing is, if you look at this movie from such a standpoint, not only are you ruining the experience for yourself, but you’re also inviting others to do the same. And I’m doing the same right now on this wonderful Sunday afternoon, because frankly it’s a bit grim outside and I like this kind of thing. In my quest, I have found the following issues that have faded into the background.

1. Toxic femininity – toxic femininity is a very real thing, and can be just as damaging as toxic masculinity. Here, we have a tale about a queen who orders the murder of Snow White because she is more beautiful than her. She is the epitome of feminine beauty and grace, and the Queen hates it, because she thought it was her. Therefore, offing the princess would allow her to become the fairest of the land.

2. Abuse of power – the poor huntsman seemed like a nice fellow, and yet he is placed between a rock and a hard place by his queen to kill Snow White, the Queen’s step daughter, a delicate petal who’s done nothing wrong, all because of her own envy.

3. Breaking and entering – there’s no one home, so I guess it’s okay to enter a home with your new animal friends if you ask the air whether you can come in and sleep on multiple beds.

4. Sexism – the world we live in today is all very fond of highlighting past cultural norms and branding them unacceptable and not up to today’s standards, which is entirely impossible to rectify. So when Snow White questions the untidiness of the place, she presumes its because they have no mother, and so takes on the role as mother because, well, apparently this is a woman’s work. And it was, at the time. Likewise, she presumes that the dwarves can’t look after themselves, including general hygiene.

5. Why does nobody care for the poor fellow reduced to a skeleton in the Queen’s dungeon, who is openly mocked as having died reaching for water?

The thing is, if you’re going to open a can of worms, be ready for the rest of the questions. We could look further and question Cinderella’s catfishing her Prince Charming, Ariel willing to trade her voice and her life with her family all for a man who didn’t ask her to, and, a more recent one I had thoughts about, open mockery in Ralph Breaks the Internet concerning Merida’s Scottish accent (I thought mocking accents was taboo, or is it just certain ones?)

If we look at every kid’s film, and indeed every film, through these insidious lenses purposed to see bad in everything, what is that really achieving? I loved Disney films growing up. Had the outfits, loved the stories. My favourite was The Little Mermaid, but did I grow up thinking that I would have to give up my voice to win a man’s heart? No, I was too concerned with getting my parents to let me go for a family meal in my Anastatia dress and plastic Spice Girls sandals. Likewise, I understood that just as mermaids didn’t exist and kisses didn’t really bring the dead back to life, I knew that these films weren’t perpetuating rape culture. If you’re convinced that a child’s moral compass and understanding of right vs wrong is determined by a kid’s film rated U that’s been around for several decades, maybe reevaluate what a parent’s role really is in a child’s life.

As a side note, I knew someone who’s mum didn’t let him or his sister watch The Lion King after hearing a kid committed suicide after watching it, and so his principle entertainment growing up was anime such as Bleach. Didn’t result in him thinking he was a Soul Reaper though did it?

How would you define sexual harassment? I guess that’s a loaded question, because today, we know that sexual harassment is much more wide spread than previously acknowledged. And, its not about sexual attraction. Much of the time, knowingly sexually harassing someone is a power trip. Even to those who don’t know they’re making someone uncomfortable, often they will ignore these complaints. From personal experience, anyway.

Now, I know that sexual harassment works both ways. Men and woman alike are guilty of it, as with everything. I also believe that women, in today’s society, are given more free reign in that respect. But that’s another post for another time.

Sexual harassment isn’t black and white. As I have learned, its a complex process I didn’t understand could be so damaging until knowingly experiencing myself, a couple of times in one work place to varying degrees. Two examples come to mind.

My first experience includes a man the work force acknowledged as a well meaning, yet odd fellow. Much older than I was, and yet we worked in a place in which the huge workforce contained many different kinds of people, and we talked. Soon, I heard rumours that he’d been talking about me while I wasn’t around, commenting on my tattoo and about how I looked that day. I also heard that he was telling people he was in love with someone in the work place, and they began to put two and two together. We lived near eachother, and he would cross the road to talk to me, and stare into my home as he walked passed.

The second example was more acute. The above happened over years; this one took a month. Another man, who’d started exhibiting strange behavior and outbursts though known for being mild mannered, asked to walk me home. I said no (politely), and later that day he got in my face, in front of other staff, and warned me against gossiping. A few days later, he gave me a handwritten letter. In it, he disclosed that he was romantically interested in me, an interest I’d repaid with physical and verbal flirtations. I had never spoken to the man. He warned me against playing with his emotions, and accused me of outwardly lying to him about my relationship status. He signed it.

I reported him the following day, and despite warnings against coming up to me, he did. He tried to punch the guy who tried to remind him of what he’d been told, and he was fired.

During this, I actually Google searched what constituted as sexual harassment, or just harassment in general. To me, harassment had to be defined by certain behaviours and actions before I could report it. And yet, I discovered that it wasn’t so simple, and yet, I had many more grounds than I thought.

If someone is making you uncomfortable, it shouldn’t be on you to cope with it, and let them go on. Don’t feel sorry for the lonely individual who doesn’t seem to realize they’re being a bit full on. They might make excuses for themselves, and they might even think that their emotions absolve them of any blame. It doesn’t. You are not responsible for how they feel, or think they feel, much like I wasn’t responsible for those two people. When they were asked to stay away and respect my boundaries, did they listen? Not very closely.

Some people only have to be told once, and they leave you alone. Others don’t realize their error, or do, but carry on anyway. That can make you feel so powerless, but you aren’t. Companies, at the very least, are obligated to listen. And don’t think that your harassment story doesn’t count. Yes, there are many more extreme examples. But who’s to say yours couldn’t become one of them, if not nipped in the bud?

Tag: sexual harassment

The Double Standards of The Snow White Kiss Controversy