social issues – Paint a Mental Picture

Is it just me, or do people get more idiotic as the pandemic goes on?

I get it. We’ve been in this situation for going on a year now, and in some ways it feels like we are further away from coming out of it. Even with vaccines, the fourth just being announced, we are still a very long way from normality. And the longer we go, I guess the more tempting it is to just break a rule. Travel a bit further, meet a friend, hug a relative. And yet, so many of us haven’t. So why do so many think themselves above the rules?

For a few months now, £10,000 fines have been handed out left right and centre. From house parties to outdoor raves in abandoned train station tunnels, private funerals to 400+ strong weddings behind blacked out windows. But for some reason, famous people breaking the same rules just feels that bit more infuriating.

My prime beef is with the situation of Rita Ora’s 30th birthday party. We all know the story; 30 guests to a pricey upmarket restaurant in London, which was at the time a Tier 3 zone, which prohibited such gatherings. This happened weeks ago, but over the last couple of days police have issued further information concerning the set up of this party. Apparently, Rita Ora’s ‘team’ offered the restaurant £5,000 to open the restaurant and hold this private gathering, during which CCTV cameras were switched off (I believe, I know they were done to not capture the festivities, I’m a lousy researcher, and who has the time anyway?) and curtains blacked out the windows. When the police alerted the guests inside, they all fell quiet. Clearly behaviour of those being caught out.

So why is this so much more infuriating to me? I don’t think I’m alone in this either. The fact of the matter is, Ora was able to spend £5,000 just to ask this restaurant owner, who’s business had no doubt taking a hit in earnings, as so many other business have, to open this venue. The fine, which she so graciously offered to pay, was £10,000. Is that fair? This kind of fine might financially cripple so many, but I have an incling that £10,000 is not such a big deal to her. With numerous promotional deals for business ongoing, a new brand of tequila out, and a role in a frankly god awful looking film (yes, I love Oliver! and just let me have my rant) is she really regretful of her choices from an earnings perspective?

So this raises the question; should celebrities be punished more for breaking the rules? In short, I say yay. The fact of the matter is, she is a public figure. So many politicians have lost their jobs over travelling a long distance or going to pubs, partly because of their public image. As for the general public, their mistakes cost them an eye watering fine, potential naming and shaming among relatives, and maybe even blurred out footage posted online. This could be damning to anyone, and that’s why I think standardising the fine for everyone to one amount is unfair. I think a celebrity, a high earning public figure with a thriving career in multiple forms and a large following ought to pay a higher price.

Instead of a standard £10,000 fine, the fine should be worked out in a similar way to tax. A 5 or 20% cut, say, of their annual earnings for that year. Perhaps it should be donated to help towards the covid efforts, PPE and extra staff and all that. I also think that promotions of their own products should be suspended for a period of time. I think they should be held accountable for their actions, and maybe even throw a bit of suspended social media activity. Years ago, that would have sounded like grounding a teenager for staying out too late. Today, so much is achieved through apps such as Instagram, TikTok and Twitter, that it’s become a viable tool to become famous, and keep getting more famous.

For everyone, I don’t think it’s enough to issue adverts of radio asking us if we can look someone in the eye and lie about our adherence to the rules. Instead, I think it should warn those breaking the rules to such a brazen degree that if you choose to break them , no matter who you are, you are wilfully giving the powers that be permission to use your photograph and name and share your identity as one of the few who are potentially keeping us all in this mess. That they were contributing to the spread of a virus that has prevented people from meeting loved ones, from comforting a relative in their last moments, from celebrating life events in the way that they should be celebrated.

I think that if people feel their name, popularity and reputation is threatened, they are much more likely to comply than if they are told that people will die. Sad, isn’t it?

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Sexual Harrassment in the Work Place – It’s Not So Straightforward

23rd Jan 202123rd Jan 2021 maymargaret

How would you define sexual harassment? I guess that’s a loaded question, because today, we know that sexual harassment is much more wide spread than previously acknowledged. And, its not about sexual attraction. Much of the time, knowingly sexually harassing someone is a power trip. Even to those who don’t know they’re making someone uncomfortable, often they will ignore these complaints. From personal experience, anyway.

Now, I know that sexual harassment works both ways. Men and woman alike are guilty of it, as with everything. I also believe that women, in today’s society, are given more free reign in that respect. But that’s another post for another time.

Sexual harassment isn’t black and white. As I have learned, its a complex process I didn’t understand could be so damaging until knowingly experiencing myself, a couple of times in one work place to varying degrees. Two examples come to mind.

My first experience includes a man the work force acknowledged as a well meaning, yet odd fellow. Much older than I was, and yet we worked in a place in which the huge workforce contained many different kinds of people, and we talked. Soon, I heard rumours that he’d been talking about me while I wasn’t around, commenting on my tattoo and about how I looked that day. I also heard that he was telling people he was in love with someone in the work place, and they began to put two and two together. We lived near eachother, and he would cross the road to talk to me, and stare into my home as he walked passed.

The second example was more acute. The above happened over years; this one took a month. Another man, who’d started exhibiting strange behavior and outbursts though known for being mild mannered, asked to walk me home. I said no (politely), and later that day he got in my face, in front of other staff, and warned me against gossiping. A few days later, he gave me a handwritten letter. In it, he disclosed that he was romantically interested in me, an interest I’d repaid with physical and verbal flirtations. I had never spoken to the man. He warned me against playing with his emotions, and accused me of outwardly lying to him about my relationship status. He signed it.

I reported him the following day, and despite warnings against coming up to me, he did. He tried to punch the guy who tried to remind him of what he’d been told, and he was fired.

During this, I actually Google searched what constituted as sexual harassment, or just harassment in general. To me, harassment had to be defined by certain behaviours and actions before I could report it. And yet, I discovered that it wasn’t so simple, and yet, I had many more grounds than I thought.

If someone is making you uncomfortable, it shouldn’t be on you to cope with it, and let them go on. Don’t feel sorry for the lonely individual who doesn’t seem to realize they’re being a bit full on. They might make excuses for themselves, and they might even think that their emotions absolve them of any blame. It doesn’t. You are not responsible for how they feel, or think they feel, much like I wasn’t responsible for those two people. When they were asked to stay away and respect my boundaries, did they listen? Not very closely.

Some people only have to be told once, and they leave you alone. Others don’t realize their error, or do, but carry on anyway. That can make you feel so powerless, but you aren’t. Companies, at the very least, are obligated to listen. And don’t think that your harassment story doesn’t count. Yes, there are many more extreme examples. But who’s to say yours couldn’t become one of them, if not nipped in the bud?

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What is Actually Wrong With Love Actually?

27th Dec 202027th Dec 2020 maymargaret

I love ‘Love Actually’, actually, to quote Kitty from Ghosts. British romcoms just have that thing about them, from my totally biased British opinion. They are cosy and unrealistic and feature a barrage of clumsy bumbling characters. Usually featuring Hugh Grant if you’re thinking of a certain time period for British romcoms. But yes, I love them. I love the stiff upper lip awkwardness, the double entendre, and yes, there are plenty of stereotypes. But movies have stereotypes. And, and this is my main point, movies are fictional.

You’ve probably seen the following kind of article lately. I watched this and I have questions. I watched that classic film and I was horrified. I’m watching love actually for the first time and it’s AWFUL!!! Yes. We get it. It was made in 2003 and you’re super offended by its lack of 2020 standards (and “oh the Andrew Lincoln scene is just creepy”). But is it that bad? I don’t think so. In fact, there’s so many good things about Love Actually that these people don’t seem to realise. The smattering of jokes unique to British humour. The singing priminister’s guard, the irony of a pair of movie body doubles struggling to ask each other out. Emma Thompson’s acting. References to the passengers aboard the planes of 9/11.

The scene between Keira Knightly and Andrew Lincoln is still my favourite scene. As he mentions, he’s confession to provide an explanation, clear the air. Not with any other motives. “With no agenda.”

The criticism around Love Actually and other films of the like, such as Four Weddings and a Funeral, has increased in the last year or two. The key criticism being too straight, or too white. As I say, we are not in the time we were. As for Four Weddings, in my opinion, it features one of the most modern and respectful depictions of a gay couple, even by the depictions used today (such James Corden in that Netflix film… Prom, is it?). In a sea of incorrect and potentially hurtful stereotypes of gay men, we saw a couple that weren’t characatures for cheap jokes. We just saw a couple, the only couple among that group of romantically unsuccessful friends, fully accepted by all.

We need to edge away from the idea that all movies need to depict social issues, need to shoehorn characters in for the sake of diversity. So many films focus on one group of people, and yet today there seems to be this pressure to feature as many racial, cultural and LGBTQ groups as possible into mainstream movies. So much so that it deviates from a true story. Love Actually may have its issues when viewed from the lenses of today, but it wasn’t made for that. It was made for audiences of then. Movies used to be made for escapism. To reflect technological advances. To tell a story. Today, even in a fantasy or a superhero flick, we are being reminded of social issues and imbalances. In the time we are currently in, do we need to be reminded in the evenings too that the world isn’t perfect? Do we need our TV shows to preach to us in a time of what we want to use for relaxation and switching off?

Yes, some movies should be made to deliver a message. But other movies can simply exist to have fun with. To watch when we just want to feel warm and fuzzy, or cry like no one is watching. What, I ask, is wrong with that?